Monday, March 28, 2011

Fat Women - Society's Purest Evil

Barbara Walters just said matter-of-factly to Ricki Lake on today's "The View", "As a kid who [wa]s overweight, you probably didn't have friends."  And Ricki didn't say a word.

I need a moment to breathe.  One second.

Ok, so WHAT?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!?  Have we really reached the point as humans that saying absolutely any horrible, even false thing about fat women, even and ESPECIALLY if you're Barbara Walters, is not only acceptable but also deemed instantly true??  And Ricki, seriously?  You were such a charismatic young woman with your own talk show and Broadway starring roles and fun personality that I would be APPALLED to learn that you didn't have friends.  You couldn't speak up?  Have you joined some new "not fat" club where you can't admit you used to be fat?  I'm writing a letter to The View about this right now, but I really wonder if anyone else will???

For one thing, I was a fat kid.  And guess what?  I'm a big fat fat lady now too.  And I've ALWAYS had friends.  I daresay, I had more friends than I could handle.  Being fat didn't get in my way making friends.  You know what, this pisses me off gloriously. 

As much as kids say what's on their mind in any situation, the truth is, adults are still, and always have been, the ones instilling hate and prejudice into kids' minds.  Kids don't know that they're supposed to hate fat people.  Adults tell them to hate fat people.  So they listen.

If even one kid was awake during The View today and heard Barbara's comment, they might go be mean to the fat kid at school that they would have otherwise befriended, or at the very least left in peace.  FUCK YOU Barbara Walters, and the other Barbara Walters' of the world.

As a fat woman, I am constantly reassured by people like Barbara Walters, random males on the street of all ages, Michelle Obama, and pretty much any form of media, that I am committing a huge crime by merely existing publicly.  The number of times I get harrassed for being fat is shocking.  Any time I walk by a group of men, I get tense.  You know why?  Because people like Barbara Walters are saying that it's normal, and indirectly inferring that it's acceptable, to be mean to, shun, and dislike fat people.  Which automatically translates to fat women, and even more so since we don't have male privilege on our side.  So men driving by me in cars can scream "oink oink" and cackle at me when I'm walking down the sidewalk.  True story.  One of many.  Maybe one day I'll tell you more.

Thanks, Barbara, for making my point for me.  You're disgusting, and so are all of your loser counterparts spreading these messages.  You should be ashamed.


  1. Now I wish I had paid attention to the View today. I had it on, but was busy with something else. When I was growing up I was skinny as a stick...and guess what...I didn't have a lot of friends. It all has to do with the kind of person you are and your personality. I was very shy and didn't talk much, so nobody talked to me. When I got into high school I was a bit more social and had a group of friends, but I was still shy. After I had my son, I started gaining and gaining weight. We went back to visit our hometown in Iowa, and I would say hi to people and they wouldn't know who I was. In the past two years I lost 85 lbs. Last summer we went back to an all school reunion, and everyone knew who I was because I looked like I did in high school. I don't know if this helps you or not, but I've been thin and I've been fat. Being thin and shy is just as uncomfortable as being heavy.

  2. I hate that prejudice against fat people is acceptable in our society. For some reason people see it as a choice someone makes, so then it's okay to ridicule them about it. Even if it was a choice, it's not okay. And it isn't! Argh.

    And for the record, I knew you when you were a kid and you were charismatic and outgoing and kind. You make people around you feel great. You are fantastic at being a friend.

  3. I totally agree, B, it's definitely about who you are as a person. Your story about going back to Iowa is really interesting. I lost a significant amount of weight a while back, and it was interesting to see people's reactions (they were quite varied). I ended up gaining it all back, too, and then the reactions were interesting to note as well.

    Aamba, thank you for your insight and your kind words :) I appreciate it so much!! For me being fat isn't a choice due to my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, but I agree that regardless of whether one's fatness or lack thereof is by choice, no one should consider harrassing people acceptable for any reason. I'm glad to know that awesome people like you are around this world!

  4. Sometimes weight is from medical conditions and sometimes it is from food, but even if it is due to eating, it isn't something people should get made fun of for.

    Here's how I look at it. I'm fairly thin. No one comments on my food choices. I don't eat very well, I have a terrible weakness for sugar. That goes unnoticed. I try to maintain portion sizes, etc. But someone else could be eating exactly the same thing as me, or better than me, and gaining weight. Just how our bodies are built.

    It's like the casting the first stone thing. If you're someone who is being mean to someone for his or her weight, are you perfect? Do you have no vices at all? Do you only eat fruit and veggies and all your protein and carbs are measured against the food pyramid? I doubt it.

    Now I'm all worked up!

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  6. I hate it when you lose weight and your friends become jealous and don't speak to you any more.

  7. Aamba, I totally agree - nobody pays any mind to what thinner people eat as long as they stay thin. Thank you for being so honest! I'm glad to see that you're worked up, and I hope more people get worked up!

    B, I hope that didn't happen to you! Did it? I didn't have that problem, but I did have friends telling me I'd lost enough (even though I was still over 200 lbs and really, still quite large) or that I should slow down. Very odd! Many were also congratulatory, which despite their well-seeming sentiments, did sometimes hurt too.

  8. A lot of people told me I should quit losing weight or people would think I was sick. I had one friend who just quit talking to me and two cousins, who are overweight, would send me nasty letters. When we were in Iowa last year, one of my cousins refused to see me because she was so jealous.

    What is wrong with these people? Why can't they just be happy for me. I never Suggested they lose weight. I guess they feel so bad about themselves that they can't enjoy anybody else's success.

  9. Ya know, over the years I've been heavy and I've been skinny, and if there's one thing I've discovered, it's that you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. In my chubby days, I was mostly treated as though I was invisible, with the occasional bits of mockery thrown in for good measure. And now in my skinny days today, I'm not invisible anymore, but people seem to view my body as though it's public property and a completely appropriate conversation topic for one and all, whether it's women remarking that of course I MUST have an eating disorder, or men making creepy comments galore. It seems to be a fact of life that if you're a woman, no matter what size you are, someone out there is going to have something to say about it. Oof.

  10. B, I have no idea why people feel it appropriate to interfere on others' dietary choices, whether good or bad. Of course there are exceptions in certain cases, but for the average person, the choice should be theirs alone. I'm sorry that you had people in your life who were behaving in such a difficult and hurtful manner!

    Tracy! I love your comment, and it brings up a good point - skinny women are subject to a lot of talk about their bodies too, both negative and potentially flattering. Even if it can be categorized as "flattering," that doesn't make it necessarily desirable or even positive. I agree that as women, our bodies are viewed as public property, and I would add that that is the case much more so at any size than men's bodies.

    It's interesting that women knock each other down so much. I'm sad about that.

  11. That is a good point about our bodies being seen as public property! I guess I don't even think about the inappropriate comments that get made to me because of my body anymore. It's the norm!

  12. Wow.. This makes me really upset. I'm sure Ricki Lake was very popular in school. Another reason society has issues.

    D.H. on another side note about society. I was riding home on the commuter rail the other night when this women with two children girl 5, and boy 8. When the train conductor was approaching for her ticket she promptly got on the phone - she then proceeded to try to ignore him and hand him some old transfer slip. He asked her again for her fare. She said she didn't have it. He proceeded to write her up and asked for her license - she pretended to look really hard in her purse but yet couldn't find it. On the honor system he asked for her name and address to write her up. The little girl started crying because she thought they would be kicked off of the train - the boy didn't understand why they would interrupt her while she was on the phone. After the conductor left, the lady proceeded to complain that the man was stupid to give her a ticket for 2 bucks. Nice parenting eh? Those kids will have tons of respect for authority someday.

  13. People are terrible sometimes. I was not a fat kid until I got into high school. As a male of the species, it came in handy because I played football and it was acceptable, in fact encouraged, to be a big guy in that circumstance. What a terrible double standard.