I've experienced many living situations in my life so far, from living with random roommates to having my sister as a roommate to living alone in a teeny studio apartment to the current chez les parents situation (not all involved a feline, sadly). All of these have pluses and minuses, and I generally prefer to live with others for the simple but real reason that no one's there to check any of my neuroses when I live alone, so they fly too freely on the crazy flagpole!!
Though infrequent, however, there are times when I wake up in the morning and am utterly incapable of interaction with another being - feline, human, or otherwise. And that's today, fo sho. My threshold for socialization has already been met this weekend - I had a busy day of friend-time yesterday, and consequently, today the only friends with whom I'd like to interact are the Real Housewives of New York and the comically touching staff of TGS. I have phone calls to make and a cat to feed, but other than that, YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
So in comic intervention from the universe, today is, in addition to being a day where Fatty decided to wake me up multiple times starting at 6 AM with various mews and grunts to express her displeasure at being hungry and unfed, one of my mom's perkiest days EVER.
Maybe it's because we test drove a Prius on Friday (I'll check under her bed for a unicorn), but my Mom woke up today with sunshine in her eyes and rainbows coming out of her fingertips. She's delighted to be alive, and she's not afraid to show it. I, to represent the other hand, want to hide under my bed with my TV, cut the phone lines, and ignore all other life forms until tomorrow.
Poor Mom has tried everything - feeding me blackberries, smiling at me a lot, and ignoring the fact that I ate a turkey sandwich at 10 AM for breakfast (not easy for her, trust). She's invited me to go out and frolic with her, but nothing's working, Mom, and it's not you, it's definitely me! ME WANT TV AND NAPPING.
Poor Mom isn't the only one suffering my wrath. I'm so tired that I told my dad during his breakfast monologue/bad joke gag reel that maybe he should write new material. I stopped short of telling him to keep his day job. He looked sullen. Even the cat steered clear of me after I fed her, too. At least that b*tch can read body language.
Dear readers, what am I to do? I have a case of the "leave me alones," but I have one perky and one meh parent staring at me with hope, despite it all. Coffee?