Saturday, April 23, 2011

GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU DANG-ED KIDS!

So, I called the cops on some kids yesterday.  Yeah.  I'm a little torn about it.  I mean on the one hand, AWESOME.  And on the other hand, I feel like a snitchy mean old crusty person.

They show up on my street religiously, every weekend, and now on Fridays too, to smoke weed and drink Bud Light and whatever else they're up to, and they park on the one end of the cul-de-sac where they can basically be invisible to anyone in their houses.  That is, except to me!  Why?   (Binoculars).  Yeah, I'm totally creepy!!!

I saw their car drive by yesterday while I was on the phone with my sister, and this is like the 30th time I've seen it in the last 2 weeks, so I was like, EFF THIS.  I'm calling the cops!  My parents pay serious property taxes to live here, and waa waaa old boring people reasoning, these kids need to FIND A NEW PLACE FOR THEIR DEBAUCHERY!  I get it - I did some dumb sh*t in high school, but that's what the woods are for!!  Not my street!

So the cops were like, where are you calling from, so I was like, my cell phone.  Come get these damn kids.  About 5 minutes later, BAM!  2 cop cars, one kid making a fast getaway on his bike, and a handful of other kids getting BUSTED!  It was, I'm not gonna lie, Ah-Ma-Zing to watch their stupid scrawny rich 16 year old butts get hit by the letter of the law.  I hope their parents hung them out to dry when they got home.

I realize it's kind of crusty of me, and if I lived in a city I wouldn't even look twice at drunk kids, but the suburbs have gotten me uptight and old lady-ish!  Even my 38 year old sister was aghast, laughing at me nonstop and mocking me openly for calling the cops on some kids!  And I kept on defending myself!!  I hate those stupid kids!  If I had a huge guard dog, I'd send it to go bite them! 

So yeah, I think I did the right thing, and I hope those stupid kids never show up here again.  Take your party elsewhere.  Oh, and PS, if you hadn't yelled rude shit at me and my mom one time when we were walking by you, I never would have busted you.  So maybe be nice, and don't do drugs :)

3 comments:

  1. I'm with you! But then people have always thought I was a crusty old woman even when I was ten :)

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