Then came San Francisco. Behold the photographic evidence:
See that little grey blur right in the middle of the picture? That's a squirrel charging at me in Golden Gate Park. That little bugger not only chased me down, it also climbed my pant-leg to get to my chocolate chip scone. I shook it off, but not without severe emotional trauma.
Look, I was so pro-squirrel, even after this event, that I just laughed at the cherished memory of it scaling my leg past my kneecap in order to swipe food from me. But squirrels, you have done me wrong now. Very very very wrong.
The date: this past Monday night. The time: 9 PM. The scene: Me going to the fridge to eat something despite the fact that I wasn't hungry. Scene:
DH: "Mom, WHAT is that smell????????????"
Mom: "Your dad ate some canteloupe [sidebar: I hate canteloupe and it smells like horrible rancid crap to me, so this was a likely scenario.]
DH: "NO no no no no no no this is WAAAAAHAAAY worse than that. EW! [sniffs air while fridge door swings shut] It's coming from there [points toward study, two rooms away]!!!!!!"
DH and Mom walk towards study, stench gets severely worse and very very overwhelming.
DH: "Ewwwwwwwwwwwww WTF it reeks in here!!!!!!!! It smells like DEATH. I told you we have critters in the attic! The effing pest guy came and everything! It must have died in the wall!!!!!! BLECH."
Mom: "I don't smell it." [ calls dad over]
Dad: "I don't smell anything."
DH: "BBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!" [calls fire department]
The fire department came over and told us, yes it's a dead squirrel somewhere in the wall, stinking up our house for conceivably the next 4-6 weeks or more until it decomposes and gives us respite from it's disgusting malodorous body smell.
In short, squirrels of the world, I'm SO OVER YOU. You've lost an ally this week. I might just go buy this mug:
Update: As of right now, 8/4/11 at 11 PM, the smell has VANISHED. WTF??????